Noisy vegetables

This week’s words: unusual, cellar, giraffe, cough, lettuce, vegetable, hear, creak, celery, rough, miniature, notion, nonsense, know, cousin, daughter, listen, taught, touch, genius, rough, position, icicle, statue, throat, naughty, furious, pause.

Wednesday was an unusual day. Down in the cellar I could hear the pipes gurgling, through the wall I could hear something that sounded like a giraffe coughing and out in the garden, if I listened very hard, I could hear the lettuce growing in the vegetable patch.
Out there grew all kinds of vegetables, and I felt I could hear them all. The lettuce creaked like a ship in the wind as it grew; the celery made a sound like rough paper on gravel; the carrots sounded like miniature men sailing a ship across a quiet ocean.
The notion that the garden made a noise as it grew was beyond my mother, she thought that all plants were silent from the first germination until their very last cough. Whenever I tried to speak to her about the noise of the plants keeping me awake when I was trying to nap she would say that I shouldn’t talk such nonsense.
“Everyone knows,” she said, “that plants are silent.”
What was most unusual about this vegetable patch, however, was not the noises it made when my mother wasn’t listening, but the statue of my cousin’s daughter which some genius has positioned in the centre of a regular space next to the rough back wall. I had been taught not to touch this unusual statue and usually I didn’t. On Wednesday, though, it had been snowing and an icicle had formed on the statue’s nose. It was about the width of my thumb and scarcely longer than my own little finger. It remained hanging there all day until I could stand it no longer. The statue looked uncomfortable and slightly unbalanced with that ice hanging there.
I climbed the statue and held onto its throat, reached round to the height of its nose and naughtily chipped off the icicle.
The vegetables paused as if hushing one another. Silence reigned.
I was anxious. I thought that my mother might see what I’d done and be furious. I knew I had been naughty and hoped that no one had seen.
Sneakily, I climbed down from the statue and tiptoed back to the house cautiously. At the point when I got to the door of the kitchen I paused and I listened as the vegetables continued to grow, creaking like an old man’s knees. They thought I wasn’t listening, but they were too noisy to ignore.
I wondered to myself what I should do with the icicle and whether the garden would tell my secret. Just at that point I heard the telephone ring….

This week’s crossword.